I've had Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11 in my Wii for about a month now, and it's been a roller coaster ride. I was terrible at it at first, then I got better, then I hurt my back. I don't know whether I hurt it from lifting a lot of heavy boxes at work or by playing Tiger Woods, but it made playing the game a lot less fun. Then my back got better, and then I got even better at the game, but then my virtual opponents got better, and I was back to sucking. For the sake of my back, and because L.A. Noire and Portal 2 are next in my Gamefly queue, I decided to play one last round tonight and mail it on back.
I've never played golf in real life, and if I did I'm not sure what I would drink. While golf is a particularly civilized sport, I didn't feel like sipping on a dainty beverage between shots. As far as I can tell, golf is about two things: Being classy and getting wasted. So what could be more perfect than a martini?
I made my martini with 1 part Martini and Rossi dry vermouth, 6 parts highly-underrated Seagram's gin, and a splash of pickle juice. I can do without vermouth when I have fancy gin, but I'm not exactly John D. or Catherine T. MacArthur. I used a pickle garnish, cuz that's how I roll. This all makes for a mildly sweet, slightly salty, and deliciously savory martini. I sipped it intermittently throughout the tragedy that unfolded over 18 holes, and it really helped me along. I maintained par for the front 9, but things fell apart after that. Gin is great in these situations. While whiskey angers up my blood, gin affects my spirit more gently. If I had been sucking down Manhattans, I might have thrown my Wiimote through the window when I quadruple-bogeyed on the 18th hole. However, thanks to my martini, I merely spoke the word "fuck" aloud at a modestly high volume.
COMING SOON: L.A. Noire with Leopold Bros. Whiskey, Faxanadu with Wild Blossom Mead, Mega Man X with something, Portal 2 with Night Train!!!!!!
1 month ago